The holiday season holds an unsettling tension of joy and grief. The joy is unbridled and loud, the grief is hushed and lonely. It reflects the tension of the Christmas Story; murder, oppression & loss surround Jesus’ triumphant arrival. I offer you two gifts to navigate this tension.
“A time to weep…”
My first gift to you is permission to mourn without apology.
The Christmas story is powered by love and connection. Your tears celebrate a love worth weeping over. Your silence, your remembrance, even your mood swings are love letters that declare “I love you. I miss you.”
When Jesus preached “Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall receive comfort”(Matthew 5:4), He meant it! Here are some fascinating facts about tears. They discharge cortisol, bringing calm to our nervous system. Tears also release endorphins and natural opiates, increasing our pain tolerance. Our kind and meticulous God built us to recover. Tears are a gift. Unwrap it. Use it as often as needed.
“…and a time to laugh”
My second gift to you is permission to laugh without guilt.
Pleasure during times of loss feels like treason, doesn’t it? Joy doesn’t disconnect you from your person, it’s a reprieve from the pain of losing them. Nehemiah gave us a powerful grief hack, “The joy of the Lord is our strength” (Nehemiah 8:10). Joy doesn’t replace grief; it is a divine resource for navigating it. Grief, especially holiday grief, is breathtaking in the worst way. This December, allow glimmers of delight to steady you. Eat the cookie and savor every crumb.
Let out a giggle and take a breath. Push past the guilt and unwrap a little joy. Use it as often as needed.
Our hearts have the capacity to hold grief and gladness at the same time.
Some years the grief will take up more time and space. That is okay and valid. Leave a little wiggle room for joy. In time, those flickers of joy will become flames.
The time to weep and laugh is now.
