Screen-time or Scream-time? That’s the choice many parents all-too-often feel with their children today.
If you are like most parents, you find it hard keeping your kids engaged in activities that draw their faces from the screens and into the animate world of adventure around them. While the allure of smartphones and tablets is increasingly pervasive, the long-term effects for children can be detrimental.
Sitting at a restaurant with one of my toddler grandkids recently with a television over fifty feet away from them and hanging on a wall, I observed how their eyes instantly locked in on the distant device. Andy Crouch says that we live in a world of less “literacy” and more “visual-cy”; a world immersed in images. Children are surrounded by image-laden screens in restaurants, at daycare centers, at stores, in cars, in their family rooms at home, and, honestly often in the palms of their tech-savvy parents. It can seem that there’s no getting away from them.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports the average daily hours spent on screens by age groups is stunning. Here are the numbers: 8-10 years old – six hours; 11-14 years old – nine hours; 15-18 years old – seven and 1/2 hours. Screen-time is immersive and ever-evolving with new ways to capture (and even, control) young minds.
The Stats
Overwhelming research confirms that excessive screen time in children is linked to various negative outcomes, including developmental delays, socio-emotional problems, and potential impacts on brain structure and function. Specifically, studies show associations between high screen time and increased risks of conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and internalizing/externalizing problems like anxiety, depression, aggression, and hyperactivity. Furthermore, indulgent screen time can negatively impact cognitive development, attention skills, and emotional regulation. Bottom-line: what we allow in our kids’ faces today will affect the things they will face in life tomorrow.
The Mayo Clinic reports that too much screen time and regular exposure to virtual programming has been linked to:
- Sleep problems
- Lower grades in school
- Less time with family and friends
- Obesity
- Mood problems
- Poor self-image and body-image
- Less time learning other ways to rest and relax
- Delays in language and social skills development
- Attention problems
The Difference Maker
Parents arguably play the most crucial role in shaping children’s screen time habits. They can manage time, monitor content, and encourage alternative activities. It’s important to note that some studies suggest that certain types of screen use, like educational content or active video games, can actually have positive impacts when used in moderation and with parental guidance. However, the overall trend suggests that excessive screen time is associated with a range of negative consequences for children’s development and well-being.
Excessive screen time can reduce the amount and quality of parent-child interaction and negatively impact social and emotional competence. Wise oversight of screen use in children’s lives by necessity requires intentional parental steps.
Here are some tips for success with screens:
- Create A Routine – Establish specific times or zones in your home that are screen-free.
- Lead By Example – Model the desired behavior by limiting your own screen time and engaging in alternative activities.
- Make It Fun & Engaging – Choose activities that appeal to your child's interests and encourage active participation.
- Be Flexible & Adaptable – Adjust activities to suit your child's age, mood, and available time.
- Celebrate Small Wins – Acknowledge and praise your child's efforts in engaging in screen-free activities.
Engaging Alternatives to Screen Time for Kids
By offering a variety of engaging and enriching alternatives, parents can help their children develop healthy habits and explore a wider range of interests beyond screens. It’s natural for parents to seek ways to balance their children’s screen time with other enriching activities. Here’s a practical list of ideas, categorized for easy reference:
Creative Activities
1) Arts & Crafts: Encourage drawing, painting, making masks or puppets, or creating collages from old magazines.
2) Building & Construction: Engage in activities using building blocks, LEGOs, or even recycled materials like cardboard boxes to construct anything from forts to fantastical creatures.
3) Creative Writing & Storytelling: Encourage children to write letters, create their own stories, or put on a puppet show with handmade characters.
4) Musical Exploration: Provide simple instruments or even use household items to create music and encourage exploration of rhythm and sound.
Outdoor Adventures
5) Outdoor Play – Encourage active play, such as bike riding, playing hide-and-seek, or creating obstacle courses in the yard. Consider setting up a waterslide in your backyard. As a parent, you can get some sun – while the kids enjoy the water.
6) Nature Exploration – Go on a nature scavenger hunt, identify plants or insects, or simply observe the world around you.
7) Sports & Games – Organize outdoor sports, play classic games like hopscotch, hula-hoop or invent new games together.
8) Gardening – Designate a small space for gardening and let children help with planting, watering, and tracking growth.
Indoor Activities
9) Reading – Dedicate a cozy space for reading and encourage a love for books by reading together, letting children choose their own books, and visiting the library.
10) Board Games & Puzzles – Enjoy friendly competition and problem-solving through various board games and puzzles.
11) Cooking & Baking – Involve children in the kitchen by letting them help prepare meals or bake treats.
12) Science Experiments – Conduct simple science experiments using household items to spark curiosity and learning.
13) Dance & Movement – Have a dance party, play movement games like Simon Says or Charades, or create your own choreography.
14) Family Projects – Work on projects together, such as creating a family scrapbook, decorating a time capsule, or building something out of boxes.
15) Record Your Own “Home-made” Movie – Have the kids come up with a story and then record it on your phone and play it back on your tv. Redeem the use of a screen by celebrating your child’s creativity and teaching them a skill.
Calming Activities
16) Sensory Play – Create sensory bins with materials like rice, beans, or kinetic sand for hands-on exploration. Have the kids wear blindfolds and try to guess what it is by simply feeling what’s in the bin.
17) Quiet Time & Reflection – Provide opportunities for independent quiet activities like coloring, drawing, or simply relaxing.
Faith-Building Activities
18) Interactive Storytelling – Act out Bible stories using costumes, props, or even puppets.
19) Discussion & Reflection – Ask open-ended questions about Bible stories, connect them to everyday life, and encourage children to share their thoughts and questions. Check out this post for some ideas.
20) Hands-On Bible Activities – Make biblical art projects, create mini Bibles, or build models of biblical objects or places.
21) Family Prayer Time – Establish a regular time for family prayer, perhaps incorporating a prayer journal or a prayer box.
22) Follow the Leader Prayer – Use images representing different prayer concerns and have children walk with you as you pray for each area.
23) Paper Prayer Chain – Make a chain where each link represents a person to pray for, and remove one link each day to focus prayers.
24) Bible Scavenger Hunt – Hide clues related to Bible stories or verses for children to find.
25) Bible Trivia – Create your own Bible trivia game or use a ready-made one.
26) Create Greeting Cards – Decorate cards and write notes of encouragement for members of the congregation or missionaries.
27) Learn a New Song – Learn and sing Bible songs or hymns together.
28) Praise & Worship Dance Party – Express love for God through dance using contemporary Christian music.
29) Create a Family Band – Make instruments from household objects and put on a concert.
30) Listening to Audiobooks – Listen to Christian audiobooks while drawing or coloring.
Worth the Effort
With Silicon Valley and other tech-hubs investing billions into capturing the attention of your kids in new and compelling ways, it will require attention and intention as a parent for you to contend for the clarity of your child’s mind and the safe-keeping of their soul. The stakes are high. Raise your child to live in a world where they are periodically using screens, and not incessantly being used by them. Control screen-usage or it will surely control you, your household and, in many ways, your child’s future.
Remember, it’s not just vital to “train up a child in the way they should go,” but it is all about the way in which you choose to do so. As you do, keep these things in mind:
- Focus On Relationship – Prioritize personal interaction and genuine connection with your children.
- Involve Children in Planning – Allow children to contribute ideas for activities.
- Make It Age-Appropriate – Tailor activities to suit the developmental stages and interests of your children.
- Be Flexible – Adjust activities based on children's responses and needs.
- Have Open Communication – Encourage open and honest discussions about life and faith.
- Foster Community – Build relationships with other families and engage in church activities.
Dr. Robert C. Crosby is the President of Emerge Counseling Ministries, a pastor, author, and leadership expert, passionate about equipping individuals and organizations to thrive.
He has authored several books on leadership and spiritual growth, including The One Jesus Loves and The Teaming Church. Dr. Crosby received his PhD from Regent University; his work integrates faith, psychology, and practical leadership principles.
